What is Alien-Parenting?
I really enjoy being a parent. I enjoy spending time with my children. I enjoy watching my children grow. I enjoy watching my children interact with others. I enjoy watching my children develop meaningful relationships with their family. I want my children to learn and grow and I want to help in whatever ways I can.
Unfortunately, many parents are not involved in their children’s lives. Many of these parents are not as involved as they would like to be. I am personally not the involved parent that I would like to be. Of course, reasons for being less involved can be complicated, but many parents are less involved for reasons that are out of their control. This is the reason for the blog–to share some frustrations about these difficult situations. In my case, the main reasons for my under-involvement in my daughter’s life are the family court system, societies views of parents, and, my daughter’s other parent. Ever since my daughter’s birth in 1999, I have had much to overcome to just spend time with my daughter. A small sample of what my daughter and I have had to endure includes the following:
- My daughter’s mother moving halfway across the country with my daughter (and the court endorsing such a move!)
- My daughter’s mother accusing me of sexually abusing my daughter.
- My daughter being moved from school to school without my knowledge or consent.
- Having essentially no contact with my daughter when she is not at my house (no phone calls, no text messages, no emails, etc.)
- My daughter being signed up for activities (e.g. sports and clubs) without me ever being told.
- Missing events in my daughter’s life because I never knew about these events.
- My daughter being told about court documents and told that these court documents do not matter.
- My daughter being told that I don’t have any say in her life.
- The family court standing by and letting all of this happen, essentially endorsing the above behaviors.
- My daughter deciding she does not want to see me or have any contact with me or my extended family.
Often the following words are used to describe parenting situations like this:
- Parental Alienation
- Parental Alienation Syndrome
- Alienation of Affections
- Toxic Parenting
- Hostile Aggressive Parenting
- High Conflict Parenting
Hence, Alien-Parenting. I plan to discuss these issues, share some of my story, and share my opinions about various topics. And, perhaps most important, I plan to share my failures, ideas on what has worked and what hasn’t worked as I try to have a lasting relationship with my daughter.